thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
