YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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