to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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