id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
