I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
