Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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