that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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