This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
