I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All the doctor said was why
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
