I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
