She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
