I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize