The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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