They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
