I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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