dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
