actually, I'm a sock model
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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