My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
