guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
