if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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