I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
