I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
