do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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