i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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