so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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