Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
