i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
