Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
