plz talk dirty to me
I got chris browned last night
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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