i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
