i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
