didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
