Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
