I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize