i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
