Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
