If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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