Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
