i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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