He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
