Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
only if we run a train.
done.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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