We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
