just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
