Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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