she woke up with a sticky ear
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
