Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
