I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You pole danced in your parka.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
