the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
