While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
