i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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