I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
