Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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