Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
