sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
