I want to stick my p in your. b.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
