Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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