1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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