operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
