Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
