just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize