wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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