they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
