I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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