Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
