I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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