it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
