The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
