Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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