since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize