His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
