just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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