this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize