I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
