Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
