You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
