I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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