Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
