don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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