i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Rumble strips road head = magical
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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